“…there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” 
Hamlet, act 2, scene 2.

I had a chance to see Eddie Izzard’s one person Hamlet. It is an amazing performance, watching her do every character at once, sometimes simultaneously. 

I have read, performed and studied Hamlet for years. About 30 to be exact. Every time, I hear something new. Perhaps it is because I am in different stages of my life, and different parts resonate with me now that didn’t at other times.

This one got me thinking:
         Act 2, Scene 2
         “…there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

In my work, we talk a lot about emotional intelligence. All I could think of was Jack Canfield’s theory:
          Situation+ response =experience

The situation is what it is. We can’t control it. What we can control, is how we respond to it. THAT is what shapes our experience. 

How we think about something, and choose to respond is what makes a situation good or bad. It is our thinking that makes it so.
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Thank you Shakespeare for the eternal lessons of life.

If you're leading a team, managing change, or navigating conflict, how you think about challenges shapes how you respond—and how your team grows.
Through engaging, interactive workshops, I help professionals develop emotional intelligence and an improvmindset, and practice communication skills drawn from 30 years of performing and being an actor.
Want to bring these lessons to life for your team?

Let’s connect. Reach out to book a workshop that transforms mindset into action.
#LeadershipDevelopment #TeamWorkshops #EmotionalIntelligence #ImprovMindset 

“The secret of being wrong isn’t to avoid being wrong! The secret is being willing to be wrong. The secret is realizing that wrong isn’t fatal. The only thing that makes people and organizations great is their willingness to be not great along the way.”  - Seth Godin

In my book Listening without Agenda, I discuss a few items about curiosity and the willingness to be wrong. It has resonated with me a lot lately as I am watching the news.

When it comes to listening, one good practice is entering into a conversation always thinking we might be wrong. Let’s face it, we are all wrong a lot, probably more than we think we are. 

• I thought I had more money in the account. 
• I thought the car had more gas. 
• I could have sworn I sent the notes for our last meeting, even though Bob says he didn’t get them. 
• I know I put my keys in the drawer. 

For many of us, we spend more time trying to cover up the fact we were wrong rather than accepting maybe, just maybe, we were wrong. 

• Who took the money out of the account? 
• Someone drove my car and used up all the gas. 
• I sent the notes; you didn’t get them (or the email got lost). 
• Someone moved my keys. 

The other choice is to accept the mistake and get better. My acting instructor Robyn Hunt once told me she had a chance to see Laurence Olivier do this on stage. The most riveting moments were the times when a mistake was made, because she watched him get better. Each mistake was a chance to learn, grow, and get better. 

For many people, this is the opposite of what we do when we make mistakes. How many times have you beat yourselves up for doing something wrong? “God, I am so stupid. I can’t believe I did that! Ugh!” This message sends us into a tailspin of self-depreciation in the guise of contrition, as if beating ourselves up will make the mistake any better or make it go away.

The energy we spend on berating ourselves can also be spent on improving. To do that, we have to be willing to be wrong, accept the new reality, and then build on it (yes, and). It means letting go of our ego.
“For Socrates and his contemporaries, losing an argument or being wrong about something was not a failure or a source of shame and embarrassment,” says author Michael McQueen in a Fast Company article about how to change people’s minds. “Quite the contrary. The feeling associated with being tripped up in an argument or realizing you were incorrect was described as a moment of enlightenment, self-knowledge, and freedom. They had a name for it: aporia.”

“According to modern philosopher James Garvey, the ancient notion of aporia was ‘a weightless moment as you float free of the mental rut you were in—you stop, your eyes narrow, and no words come to you.’ This feeling of aporia represented a wonderful opportunity to move in a new intellectual direction and grasp new possibilities.” Isn’t it a much nicer way to think of it rather than, “Wow, I screwed up… I am so stupid…” The word aporia means “no path,” and it’s what losing an argument or being wrong about a point once represented. It’s not a moment of shame and embarrassment. It is a moment of experiencing a liberating and exhilarating feeling to be in unfamiliar territory where the next step is unclear. In their pursuit of this intellectual free-fall, the ancient Greeks would argue passionately for hours, but not with the intention of dominating their opponent. Aporia was their aim—enlightenment.

Let’s think about this as a mindset for entering into any business situation. How many meetings have you been in where your boss seemed to really be interested in listening to discover their own blind spots? Where they seemed interested in learning something which would put them in unfamiliar territory where their next step was unclear? I would venture to say not often, or possibly never. 

I do not see examples of this in Politics today. As I watch the news, I also tune into other news channels so I can broaden my understanding and perhaps see a different side of a story. Many news channels spend their time justifying mistakes and failures, rather than owning up to the issue at hand. 

I know I listen from my own point of view. I acknowledge that. And I also listen with the values I believe in; to be of service, to care about others, to support those in need. You know, the things you learned in Sunday school.
​
As a leader, the first step is to start by willingly admitting you don’t know everything and admit mistakes. The old days of traditional command-and-control management doesn’t hold up in today’s workplace. And it certainly isn’t holding up in the White House. Employees quickly lose respect for leaders who are unwilling to recognize their own mistakes, or their own fallibility, or share the fact they were wrong. This can have a more detrimental effect on a team and the culture of an organization than making a bad decision. Employees quickly lose respect for leaders who cover up mistakes and don’t take ownership.

I observe this a lot in leaders—the inability to admit they made a mistake. In an article in Psychology Today about psychological rigidity, Guy Winch writes that some people have such a fragile ego, such brittle self-esteem, such a weak “psychological constitution,” that admitting they made a mistake or that they were wrong is fundamentally too threatening for their egos to tolerate. Accepting they were wrong, absorbing that reality, would be so psychologically shattering that their defense mechanisms do something remarkable to avoid doing so— they literally distort their perception of reality to make it (reality) less threatening. Their defense mechanisms protect their fragile ego by changing the very facts in their mind, so they are no longer wrong or culpable.

If you are never wrong, then why try to make things great again? They already are! And if it doesn’t work, it is the fault of saboteurs, past presidents, and (God forbid) the free press that stifles my loud incorrect voice…
It’s time to start having some fierce conversations. 

• What do you believe in?
• How do you see the world?
• What do you really value?

Do my values allow for millions around the globe to starve? Do I value people who will not admit they made a mistake? Do I value more about the money in my IRA (which is down significantly) than the person next to me? Do I believe that I am more important than the rest of the country? The world?

We all make mistakes. The choice is clear – double down and lose more or own it and learn from it. 
Let’s learn from this mistake. Let’s allow for some enlightenment.
​

Hey look! I had an AMAZING interview with Jason Cavness!

Birthing a book is a long and arduous process! There are multiple moments of self-doubt, trepidation and questioning. 
My goal in writing the book was to be helpful, and to be of service however possible.
 
My father, who recently passed, was very involved in the local Rotary Club in Pennsylvania, and they always recited the four-way test at every meeting:
Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?
 
To me this always resonated with the lesson I taught in Improv; Always make your scene partner look good. It’s not about an internal focus; it is about serving those around you. 
 
The goal of the book is to be of service. If someone found some small thing, anything, then I am happy.
I am extremely delighted when my friend and colleague Nancy Bacon wrote a great blog post about my book. Check it out!
https://nancybacon.com/listening/
 
And I received so many great statements from early readers – it was overwhelming!
“Listening is about being truthfully present - not only with others, but with ourselves. This is the gift Andrew so skillfully and thought-provokingly unwraps in this book.”
“Andrew hits a home run with this fun and practical guide to improving the quality of your relationships at home and at work through the power of deep listening.”
 
I wrote this in the intro: 
Please tell me what you find out about your own listening
style! The more I get to hear your experiences and stories,
the more I get to learn about how the lessons and exercises
work for you. Please share your experiences!
Talk to me. I’ll listen.
 
I am serious. I want to know. If for no other reason, than to know I wasn’t operating in a void. 
 
Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.

The Ariel Group published an article about my book Listening without Agenda.

The Ariel Group develops powerful and authentic communication skills to drive better performance for leaders and their teams. They are an amazing training and coaching company I have worked with for a number of years.

Snippits from the article:
As you listen, your brain is constantly jumping to conclusions based on what you think you know rather than what’s being said. Andrew explains, “your medial prefrontal cortex [the right side of the brain] is always aware–listening, watching, seeing, smelling. The dorsolateral prefrontal cortex [the left side of the brain] works on categorizing all this data from the right side against what we already know.”

 - Once you begin categorizing, you stop listening.

Unless you’re concentrating on listening, the categorizing part of your brain takes over and creates a narrative for you based on what you’re hearing–often a narrative that is different from what the other person is saying. Stay present by actively listening and resisting the urge to categorize or extrapolate meaning.

Read it all here! https://www.arielgroup.com/how-to-be-a-better-listener/

Conscious businesses are built on intentional leadership—and one of the most powerful (and often overlooked) skills is deep listening.

Real listening isn’t just waiting for your turn to talk. It’s tuning in beyond the words, picking up on what’s not being said, and responding with awareness.

Let’s say a leader notices a normally reliable team member seems off. Instead of assuming or brushing it aside, they check in. Through a real conversation, they learn the employee is dealing with a personal health issue and struggling to keep up. Because the leader listened—really listened—they can adjust the workflow, rally support, and keep the project on track before things spiral.

Want to build this into your leadership training? Try this:
🔹 Ask yourself, “What did you hear?”
🔹 Then go further, “What wasn’t said?”

Deep listening saves time, energy, and resources while strengthening trust. It’s a game-changer.

Are you ready to level up your lsitening skills and leadership presence? Let’s connect. Contact 

​#ImprovMindset
#ListenwithoutAgenda
#Leadership #DeepListening 

What’s the Most Impactful Thing You Learned in 2024?

According to a recent HBR article, many leaders name the importance of thoughtful listening and fostering strong, supportive relationships.

How do you do that?

Read my book!  https://a.co/d/2riJ5Vf
#ListenwithoutAgenda
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Available NOW at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Bookshop.org and anywhere else!