At a recent workshop for an executive group at Microsoft we discussed using a shared language for listening. We defined three methods:
The goal with defining these styles ws to say 'How do you want me to listen to what you are saying?' It was to help them set expectations for the conversation, and allow the listener to be attentive and best provide what their fellow co-worker needed. It also created a little negotiation in the beginning of the conversation, so that both parties were on the same page with what they wanted to have happen. And many times, one thing bled into another. Conversations would begin as a Friend, and then change into the Solver. However, it was the speaker, the initiator who was responsible for the changing. 'I wanted you to listen as a Friend, but I guess I am asking you to help me Solve this as well...' So when you head into a conversation - try setting up the expectation of how you should listen. Does your co-worker need a Rock, a Solver, or a Friend? Ask first, and see if you set the expectations first to be be the most attentive and available you can be. Which way do you want me to listen? Click here for more information on Andrew's workshops for your organization.
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Many people look at the theatrical work that my company does onstage and they say "it's amazing that this is unscripted!" Or more often it is "So, what part was scripted, and what part was improvised..." The idea that things are constantly being created in the spot using a few simple rules is mind boggling, and somewhat impossible for people to believe. The truth is - Improvisation is an act of constant innovation. We take what the audience gives us and create a theatrical work that amazes, engages and involves the audience as active participants in the process. The audience leaves the theater knowing they had a part in the end product that was created. Wouldn't that be great for your business? If each employee left with the thought that they were a part of the whole, that they had an amount of control over the larger piece that has been created? These rules for engagement in improvisational theater cross over to any phase of work, to any industry. They can help shape how your company operates, giving each of your employees the chance to leave each day feeling like they are a part of the larger organization. These tenets: Being willing to play, finding the drive / commitment in what you do, listening and building on offers with your team; these are all skills that we strive for in our organizations. So why would people look at Improv and say 'what can you teach me about business?' The answer is: a lot. "Overconfident professionals sincerely believe they have expertise, act as experts and look like experts. You will have to struggle to remind yourself that they may be in the grip of an illusion." —Daniel Kahneman There are two parts to the Overconfidence Effect that I am fascinated by: the 'Illusion of Control' and 'Contrary Evidence.' Illusion of Control is the tendency for people to behave as if they might have some control when in fact they have none. Example of this can be seen in businesses everywhere, especially by leaders who feel they must control every aspect of the business. (Side note: for years all hiring at Google went though Larry Page, regardless of the position...) Contrary Evidence where people engage in more defensive pessimism in advance of important outcomes, in an attempt to reduce the disappointment of a bad outcome. So rather than embracing what could happen, they look to sabotage themselves to lessen the blow of possible failure before that failure has even occurred. It is self preservation at the expense of growth and forward motion. One lesson I always teach in my workshops is to embrace that feeling of danger and loss of control. When that fight-or-flight sensation hits you, reframe it into "This is going to be a train wreck!!! And I can't wait to see what I learn from it!!!" Understanding that we have no control over the outcomes, and embracing change is what ImprovMindset Training is all about. Letting go of expectations, responding to stimulus in the moment and not sabotaging the outcome - these are the valuable lessons that we teach, and that help form a new heuristic for decision making in the workplace. Find out more and see what ImprovMindset can provide for your organization. When I talk with Business Leaders about case studies, they always say “I would have done this…” Or “I would not have made that choice…” The reason that case studies are used for training is that they are subjective; they are an example of a situation - what happened - and outline a decision moment for people to make their own choices as to how they would have reacted. It’s very easy, in the comfort of our own chairs at home, to decide how we would do something. It’s easy when we sit watching football and say “I would not have chosen that play…” As someone who NEVER played football, when I find myself saying that I have to laugh. A mentor of mine talked to me about ‘how do you describe the taste of a strawberry?’ The idea is that there are things that have to be experienced, and only by DOING can you know how you would react. We try to explain things that need to be felt - acted - done. It’s not about the words, it’s about action. I have a favorite joke: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six. One to do it, and six to say ‘I could have done it better if I had been given the chance.’ The next time you find yourself saying “I would have done that completely differently…” remember that you didn’t. There might have been fifty mitigating factors that changed how the person who made that decision in real time chose his/her choices. It doesn’t mean you can’t learn from it and consider your own choices. What it means is that you can consider that you might not know the whole story, and that only by experiencing all the factors of that moment could you really say how you would react. It’s like describing the taste of a strawberry; you have to just do it, as some things need to be done to be experienced. A number of years ago I had a house in South Seattle, and I used to ride my Scooter back and forth to work. On my route was a business called AA Roofing Supply - and on most days there would be a person standing out front in a costume waving to cars. Sometimes it was an Ape. Sometimes a Chicken. Sometimes a Super Hero, or a Mexican Wrestler. And on certain days, there would be a hybrid of costumes. A Super Hero with a Chicken head. An Ape with a Mexican Wrestler Mask. A Chicken with an Ape's head. The variety changed as much as possible. I use this story to illustrate a point; I can't make up something that good. If I wrote that into screen play, people would see it and say "That's impossible..." But it was REAL. I saw it. Every day. (And I have never needed Roofing Supplies. But I STILL remember the name of the store.) Sometimes, reality is far more obscure that our imagination. Yet, we limit our imagination by saying "No, we can't do that innovation... it's too weird..." or "No one will ever go for that..." We shut down the next big idea since our version of reality is very tame. Then our version of reality comes into contact with a giant Chicken wearing a Mexican Wrestling mask. So as you are considering options for the next big idea, be aware that you might be limiting your own growth by setting perimeters on your innovation. You might believe that the limitations are based in reality, and you might feel as if you are being responsible to reality. For a moment - consider that maybe your reality needs to be opened a little wider. Consider a Superhero Chicken. And see if you can't find something that might have been outside of your concept of reality that can drive the new ideas forward. "The level of our success is limited only by our imagination" Aesop There have been hundreds of discussions about how people learn, and the process that each individual goes through for learning. The Learning Curve is always fascinating to watch. Gathering knowledge and speed as you begin to learn, and then having steep acceleration. The hard part for a lot of my clients is leading to the Plateau, and the frustration of the Plateau. "How come I am not learning more?" "Why aren't I accelerating like I was before?" In experiential learning, we recognize the physical limitations of rapid learning and Plateaus and what they do to us. It makes some people feel alive and excited. It also makes other people scared and uncertain. The same is true of Plateaus; some people feel frustrated being in a holding pattern, and others feel comfortable and like they can finally exhale. For me, the Plateau is a place to lean into. It's the time that your body is learning from the practice, and leading you to the next Steep Acceleration. You have to let the Plateau do it's job, and let the physical practice of learning catch up to the intellectual growth. By tying the physical and intellectual together, you can create real change. So don't rest in the Plateau. See what it is teaching you. See what it has to offer when you can focus on the slower growth process. It's the time to get deeper into the learning and make it a practice. And practice makes perfect. Click here for more information on Andrew's work or to contact him for a quote. One thing that comes up at every one of my workshops is the idea of Training, vs. Discipline. I introduce the idea of changing communication and culture by adopting the ideas of Accepting and Building on offers (Yes, and) and we discuss uses and methods. The big question becomes; How does it become second nature? When Kevin Durant goes to dunk the basketball, he doesn't think "let's see, right foot first, then the left foot, then I jump at this spot, then I move the ball up..." It all just Happens. Practice makes perfect, and it makes a new reality where you don't have to think, your body just Knows how to do it. Accepting and Building is the same. It is a practice. And when you practice it enough, you just end up doing it. It becomes a new Discipline that your body understands and automatically does. The first step is being aware of where your feet go. The next step is practicing where your feet go. The third step is letting them go where they have learned to go. What things are you in the process of practicing that you want to become a Discipline? And also, what Disciplines do you have now that are detrimental to your goals? Identify habits. Practice new habits. Act. I have read tons of articles and books about the alleged rules;
All these lists are about the (insert number here) things you need to do to achieve your goals. They are varied and sometimes contradictory. And they are based off one person's experience or perspective of events that they see from multiple angles. Rules are a method that can help guide you. Goals are the thing that makes you take action. Rules are there to help, not to follow. They are guidelines, and they are edges, boundaries that you can test and push against to reach your goals. They are useful tools. They are not the thing that gets you success. Success can only be lead by goals. Dreams. Ideas. Leadership to inspire others to join into that those goals and dreams. To consider the goal and the dream above the individual need. That is the recipe for success. So ask yourself; what rules have you found yourself attached to that hold you back? What are the self-imposed boundaries that set your goals and dreams on the back burner? Identify those rules, and see if they can be re-examined to assist in your actions to move forward. You can either let rules hold you back, or you can let them help you move forward. What 'rules of business success' are you following that stifle your growth? When was the last time you gave yourself a gift? In improv, we are told to accept and build on the offers given. So many people stand around waiting for an offer, forgetting that they can give them to themselves. The offer you give yourself is as important as the offer that someone else gives you. This theme runs the same way in our everyday world. Do you listen to your own offers? What offers do you give yourself? - AND- What offers do you give yourself that make you crazy? Are they really offers, or blocks? During any family get-together, I see people trying to 'make everyone happy.' Now, this is an impossible offer. All it does is make you miserable. And then who's fault is that? It is an offer you gave yourself - that blocked you instead of allowing you to move forward. So listen to the offers you give yourself and see which are blocks and which are offers. Accept and build - and know which offers are the ones to take and which can drive you over the cliff. I have always admired the Serenity prayer for this idea. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. Give yourself a gift. You deserve it. And make it a good one. My Fiancé will tell me all the time that I am addicted to my phone. And it's true. The truth is, I feel a certain need to be connected. To know what's going on, or have access to information when I need / want it. What is also true is that we give up a certain amount of control when we have a cell phone. We are now accessible. Available. It is a devise that is out of your control: other people call you on it, not based on your needs or your day or your availability. They call because THEY want to reach you. It has nothing to do with you, your time or your work. So - it's easy to say turn the phone off, but that doesn't address the need / desire to stay connected. One game I play with a number of groups deals with status and how you perceive status, how it affects our relationships and work. The lesson attached to this exercise is that Status is always in YOUR control, and YOU get to choose your status at all times. For me, this helps with disconnecting. I can choose to be a higher status and not be available. Also - I found this great new feature on the iPhone called 'do not disturb.' It's sort of my way of saying 'I'm important, and I need this time for me. Everything else can wait.' And while it's on, I can still surf the web or get email or do whatever I want… it's just that no one else can disturb me. I like to think of it as my time for taking control of what I want and being the most important person at that time. If you are feeling slightly under the gun and stressed about the things you have to do. Try the 'do not disturb.' It has a mental ability to let you focus, knowing that you are worth it. Don't call me if you have any questions. |
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